Saturday, December 27, 2008

Musings on Christmas

Well now that the fog has cleared, I have some thoughts in my head about this season. Not much really, just some things floating around in my head and mostly confessions about myself.

Every year I have tried to tame the whole gift thing down. For friends and new aquainances I do a little basket of goodies that the kids and I put together.. not baking because then people have to eat it. Not that I'm bad at baking. I'm not. I'm also not proud ;)

This year I was very excited because I had so many things planned to do with the kids and up until leaving for Vancouver I was on the right track. But once home we were sick and I am still on the mend so everything went out the door. There are a few things that dissapoint me about Christmas.

#1. The focus is always on the gifts. I can't knock this too hard because I do the same thing. In fact this year when I didn't get the one thing that I really wanted I had to fight back tears and it ruined my whole night (we open gifts Christmas Eve night) I've bought less and less every year to try to get our minds off of the presents and focus more on Christ... but apparently this is not the solution.

#2. We are really boring, self centered parents. Pair that with being very sick and tired it's quite boring for my kids. I'm not the fun mom who plays with the kids toys with them. I sit there tired and doing nothing.

#3. Everyone else seems to have a lot more fun than us... probably because of the first two reasons.

Anyway it seems that my intentions always fly out the door every year and I become a beastly mother who is just no fun at all... the guilt comes in and by the end of the day I am a sobbing mess crumpled up in my bed being comforted by my husband.

Actually this is a fairly normal cycle in my life and doesn't just hold to Christmas alone.

Whew.. that was a vent and a half. Am I the only person who goes through this... I know why I do... it's just having the will power to do anything about it that's hard.... you?


Jaclyn said...

I totally and completely go through this on a weekly basis. I could say more...but you have said it for me. I get it.

Sharon said...

You're not the only person who goes through this. I'm quite a boring person myself. To much to the point that people (not just my kids) don't like hanging out with me. lol. It's not good. But I have never thought you were a boring person. I have always admired you for your ablity to be such an awesome wife and mother. I have often felt like I could never be the person you are. As for not having Christmas go the way you want it to... I learned a long time ago that I should just relax and enjoy it to the fullest. Yes I plan to do sooo many things over the Christmas season.. but I have learned that what I get done I get done and what I don't done I don't get done! And I just have to wjoy what I do get done. lol I hope that makes sense. Merry Christmas! Hope you feel better soon. :)

darci said...

I feel that Christmas isn't the same with out doing some commercial Christmas things. As in Gifts and Christmas parties.... I say this as someone who has never had a Christmas tree or given her family Christmas gifts ever... It's all in your heart :) Someone said Christmas is Love in Action.. That totally sums it up for.

Princess said...

i agree with previous posts... you definately are not the only one that feels this way! thanks for putting it out there and allowing us to see we are not the only ones!

every day i set out to become a better wife, better mother, better sister, better daughter, and every day i end up failing

but i think each of us are our worst critics, those around me think i do a pretty good job, its only me that feels that way!

i think you are an awesome mother, wife, daughter and friend!

so HUGS to you!!!

Christy said...

You are not alone! I go through this all the time. I live daily with Mommy guilt! It is something that I need freedom from. You are an amazing Mom and stability,Godly wisdom, guidance, discipline and love speak louder than sitting on the floor and playing with your kids new toys!

Jenny said...

I've commented to Scott that we aren't fun enough for the kids....I think we put unrealistic expectations on ourselves. It's better just to just accept who we are as moms and dads and know that we're doing the best we can do for our children. We all offer different gifts for our kids...whether it's playing with toys, teaching our children right from wrong...etc.
This year we scaled way down for the boys, but the grandparents went all out...oy...I guess they're destined to be spoiled.
Hope you have a great New Years!!

Erica said...

Thank you for sharing so honestly!You seem so real! I hate the fact that I'm the boring parent! My husband (while often lazy) will completely play with the kids on their level! While I tend to be annoyed with him for acting childish, really it's great for the kids! We got a Wii for Christmas and that actually got me playing WITH the kids at little!