I hope that you are seeing this.
I read your comment and my heart broke for you. I have not gone through what you did. In Jr.High I took a morning after pill fearing that I may be pregnant. It was so long ago and before I even understood what I was doing...
Our Jesus has completed his work. He has finished it. You have been redeemed and forgiven. I forgive you for what you did. I love life, I know the tiniest bud of life is a life. My heart breaks at what is happening in our culture. I do not agree with what people are doing.
But I know that no one is too far for the grace of God to reach them. I know that you have worked through this from your comment, but I can hear your hurt and sense that you cannot forgive yourself. I may be wrong, I do not know the heart like our God does.
There are people who will judge you. They will say that you are a murderer. That you have no right to call yourself a "Christian" when you took the lives of God's children. For all of those who would say these things, our savior has this to say;
John 8: 7 "...If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her."
I want to bless your heart. I want to hug you. I want to tell you that I am a Christian and I do not judge you. I do not hate you, I don't even think your aweful. You are not left in a dark corner, you are in the light. It is a terrifying place. But there is power there. To shatter chains and bring freedom. Step into the light and let your Jesus heal you, and if people judge you, it is their loss.
Matthew 6:15 "But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."
I hope you can hear the song playing. It has brought healing to me many times. My sins are also great, even if they are not the same.