Saturday, June 03, 2006

Do not cast Pearls before swine?

OKay so I read the article that Clover left in my comments. Now here is the thing I see here as well as in many articles about the Ezo's. They are being blamed for the sins of other people. The person writing this article clearly said

"To my knowledge, Michael and Debi Pearl do not give specific instructions to wrap a child tightly in blankets if he in not "obeying" and is getting out of bed at night."

Okay so it's pretty clear that they did not tell this woman to suffocate her child. Yes the Pearls do advise on some seriously strict dicipline and I'm not saying that I buy in to all of it (I haven't read all of it) so I don't want to hear about "but they do this" and "did you know that they do this too"

What I'm saying is, it's really easy to point fingers, we all want to find someone in authority to blame. Couldn't it possibly be that this woman had lost all common sense and was obviously not thinking clearly. She found something that she liked but when the going got tough, instead of using her brain and turning to God, she gave into her frustrations.

We as parents have a responsability to raise our children to be a Godly creation that gives glory to God. We are to do this with God at our side and by his word. All else is secondary and opinion. When we read parenting books we need to measure them to the word, not by the way they make us feel.

I do not know this mom, I don't understand her life and why this happened. There is a chance that this child would have died regardless of her parenting methods.

We can blame whoever we want but in the end we are accountable to God alone for our sins.

Check out the Pearls webpage, , you will see that all of their children are ALIVE, they are living fully for the Lord, in Godly marriages raising Godly children. Try reading about some of the success stories they have to share. There needs to be a balance, remember "chew the meat and spit out the bones"? It works both ways.

Figure this out for yourself, not going on someone's opinion, mine included.

God Bless you and keep you!


TulipGirl said...

I don't know anyone who is saying that this adoptive mother isn't 100% responsible for her actions.

Yet, I do look to those who were an influence to her.

To my knowledge, Michael and Debi Pearl do not give specific instructions to wrap a child tightly in blankets if he in not "obeying" and is getting out of bed at night.

However, they do teach in their book "To Train Up A Child":

"If you have to sit on him to spank him then do not hesitate. And hold him there until he is surrendered. Prove that you are bigger, tougher, more patiently enduring and are unmoved by his wailing. Defeat him totally. Accept no conditions for surrender. No compromise. You are to rule over him as a benevolent sovereign. Your word is final."

They Pearls teach parents that they should use whatever force is necessary to restrain a child, to hold him there until he is surrendered. . . defeat him totally
. Using blankets to do that isn’t specified in what I've read, but it definitely fits the "spirit" of what is taught.

I wish the Pearls and others who would seek to influence parents would carefully consider their words, their ideas, their impact on families. And I wish they would consider the ideas in this article:
Avoiding Millstones

Grace and peace,

Laura said...

I totally agree with you Sirena. It's easy and convenient to place blame where it doesn't belong as well as to intentionally misinterpret what others are saying by using bits and pieces taken out of context.
Again, I certainly haven't read everything written by the Pearls and I don't apply all of their methods myself. In what I have read, there is so much about winning and keeping our childrens hearts, about spending a quantity of quality time with them, about how to be a tender parent who doesn't need to resort to punitive measures all the time because they have their children's respect.
The Pearl's own grown children have all turned into godly adults who appreciate the way that they were raised, and Michael Pearl is SUCH a big suck about his grandkids, that you can tell he was a great dad too.
It bothers me that so many nasty things have been said about and done to the Pearls.
I'm big on 'eating the meat and spitting out the bones' too, and on passing something by if it's just too bony. I certainly think it's great to hold strong opinions on subjects and to express them. But when Christians are bashing other Christians in cruel and spiteful ways without even bothering to see what they're really about...well, it's just sad.