Smart, not wise.

Voddie Baucham said "I smart man learns from his mistakes, but a wise man learns from the mistakes of others." Now he may not have been the only one to say it, but he's the only one that I've heard say it.

I unfortunately have been smart lately, not wise. It seems that growing up never officially happens, it's a process. I seem to find myself being refined quite often. Weather it's being mean to a friend's child or gossiping, I've done it. Saying innapropriate things? Check. Speaking unkindly to my spouse in front of my children? Over here. The fact of the matter is, I don't think it will ever be over. The fact of the matter is, I'm sinful. The muck of sin is in me and every now and then it likes to revolt. I pray that I'm right when I say the battles are fewer and farther in between, but then I'd probably be getting prideful on top of it all.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm the only one doing these things. It sure feels like I am. I never hear anyone say,

"Man, I was gossiping again and it came back to haunt me."

or

"Shoot, I can't believe I just said that to my husband!"

I often feel like I'm the only one being refined.

Most people look like they've already gone through the process and they're done.

I get very tired of needing refinement, I feel frustrated with myself for being smart and not wise. Good grief woman, just do what your bible says! Listen to the spirit as it leads you and DO WHAT YOU'RE TOLD!!!

But no, I don't. I continue on like a sheep (I hear they're very stupid), needing to be rescued from the mirey clay and barb wire fences. I always do get rescued, but not without injury to myself or others.

People encourage me and edify me a lot, apparently I need it, and I'm thankful for it. It makes me want to be a better person. Not a lot of people have the guts to say the hard things.

What if we did?

What if we stopped talking about other people? What if we stopped talking about our kids and our spouses and this woman we know from work? What if all we talked about was ourselves and the Lord?

What if instead of voicing our opinion or our experience to help someone, we opened the word and prayed it?

Who would we be?

I want to find out.