Meet the baby.

So tomorrow morning I'm going in with my best friend Jaclyn. She's getting induced and hopefully before long after that there will be a new little baby to hold. This will be her third baby and I've been there for all of their births. I'm really excited! I get to video... hopefully this time I won't accidently erase the tape again... the worst mistake of my life. Technically Dalen did it, but with my consent.

So please be praying for safety and that God would really bless Jon and Jaclyn through this delivery. And hey while you're at it pray that they'll be converted too ;)

well I'd better get some house work done.. so I dont' have to tomorrow..

Also, thank you Christy for taking all of my children tomorrow so that I can be with Jaclyn.. you've really blessed me!

Wow!

I'm very impressed there is someone reading my blog that I dont' know! Dyan? Who are you? Where are you hiding? Do you have a blog? It's very interesting. Who else is out there?

Okay so I'm doing pretty well. Realizing how hard a miscarriage can be on a person physically. I really wanted to be working out and such again, but no. I biked to the house from here and nearly fainted when I got home. I was pulling two kids but I've pulled three before and while I did feel like a big block of Jell-o after I was no where near fainting. I went to the doctor's today. Got my negative preg test out of the way and then chatted with him for a while. For any of you who are wondering about my most fabulous amazing doctor. His name is Dr. Strydom. He is the most gentle, peaceful person ever. He shared that his wife had 8 miscarriages and her last delivery was a very scary emergency c-section. In the end of it all they have two boys and one has (sorry about the spelling) cerevral paulsie (good grief that looks SO wrong)

I have been struggling with my weight now that I'm not with child. I gained back half the wait I lost in the last while. No doubt I was comfort eating. Now I want to get going on some exercise and I can't. The more I do the worse off I am.

So I will wait upon the Lord. I will be very careful with my eating and wait for the day that I can GO!

Blessings on you all! whoever you are;)

Fear

When we got back from Vancouver, God really started working on something in my life that has head a death grip on me for a long time. Now this is something that I know the enemy could really have used against me in the last four days but I am thankful to be delivered from it.

Fear. I'm a sucker for it. Man I was seriously haunted for three nights by dreams about us living out in the wild as pioneers and being hunted by T-rexs' Cause you know there are a lot of dinosaurs around.

Anyway I didn't sleep and trying to fall alseep was horendous. The enemy had such a tight grip on me. I would see a branch move and instantly think... "there's probably a cougar in there... what if it gets in the patio door, then it would kill all the kids while we were sleeping and we'd wake up in the morning their dead bodies. Then some strange cereal killer would find the door open and come in and kill the rest of us, but not after torturing us all...." And it would carry on in such a fashion.

I really gave the enemy a hand in it by watching movies like "The Blair Witch Project" in my teens. So... as crazy as it sounds this is how my mind likes to work and eventually I was going to either have a heart attack, accedently kill Dalen thinking he was a axe murderer or hyperventalate to death in my sleep.

I decided that I'd had enough. After my third t-rex nightmare I woke up around 3 and told God I was finished with this insanity. I was handing over the reigns and it was time for him to fix it. So I did what I knew I didn't do enough. I opened my bible. I looked up fear and found some verses that applied to me and read them for about half and hour. Over and over.

Here they are.
Isaiah 41:10 "Do not fear for I am with you, do not dismay for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand"

This verse was shared with me before I gave birth to Ephrim, it carried me through.

This next verse really spoke the most to me in my situation.

Psalms 91

1 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High

will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

2 I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress,

my God, in whom I trust."
3 Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare

and from the deadly pestilence.
4 He will cover you with his feathers,

and under his wings you will find refuge;

his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
5 You will not fear the terror of night,

nor the arrow that flies by day,
6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,

nor the plague that destroys at midday.
7 A thousand may fall at your side,

ten thousand at your right hand,

but it will not come near you.
8 You will only observe with your eyes

and see the punishment of the wicked.
9 If you make the Most High your dwelling—

even the LORD, who is my refuge-
10 then no harm will befall you,

no disaster will come near your tent.
11 For he will command his angels concerning you

to guard you in all your ways;
12 they will lift you up in their hands,

so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
13 You will tread upon the lion and the cobra;

you will trample the great lion and the serpent.
14 "Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him;

I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
15 He will call upon me, and I will answer him;

I will be with him in trouble,

I will deliver him and honor him.
16 With long life will I satisfy him

and show him my salvation."

This verse spoke amazingly to me because it was so specific to my fears... most of you probably know that I am terrified of cougars.Our whole family loves camping, including me, but I do not sleep. I lay awake terrified listening to all the sounds of the forest, waiting, for something. It is such a burden to my husband.

So after I read that whoever makes his dwelling in the most high I looked for a verse that told us how to live with the most high. This is what I found.

Isaiah33:14 The sinners in Zion are terrified;

trembling grips the godless:

"Who of us can dwell with the consuming fire?

Who of us can dwell with everlasting burning?"
15 He who walks righteously

and speaks what is right,

who rejects gain from extortion

and keeps his hand from accepting bribes,

who stops his ears against plots of murder

and shuts his eyes against contemplating evil-
16 this is the man who will dwell on the heights,

whose refuge will be the mountain fortress.

His bread will be supplied,

and water will not fail him.
17 Your eyes will see the king in his beauty

and view a land that stretches afar. "

That verse made it all come together for me. I knew that if I dwelled with the most high I would be protected. And now I knew what I had to do to dwell in the most high.. and there was a bonus. I will see the king in his beauty.

Now there is one wrench in this whole thing. God's will. I am his and I've given my life to him. If he desires for my family to be killed by a t-rex than it will happen. Our lives are for his Glory. Do I think that will be his will? I sure hope not, but in the end...

Isaiah 45:9 "Woe to him who quarrels with his Maker,

to him who is but a potsherd among the potsherds on the ground.

Does the clay say to the potter,

'What are you making?'

Does your work say,

'He has no hands'?

In the end I am nothing.

"I am a flower quickly fading

Here today and gone tomorrow

A wave tossed in the ocean

A vapor in the wind" -Casting Crowns "Who am I"

In light of that I discovered this last verse and it really did leave me breathless. I am continually amazed at the power of my God, but to read this very truley made me feel like a vapor in the wind.

Psalm 46:6 "Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
he lifts his voice, the earth melts. "

Talk about putting some perspective on the power of God.

Luke 1:38"I am the Lord's servant," Mary answered. "May it be to me as you have said." Then the angel left her.

I fell asleep that night and felt as though there was a great wall around my mind, I could feel protection in my spirit. I would feel fear start thoughts and it was as though a gate was slammed shut. This mind is Christ's, he has better things to do with it than waste it away on fear.

I heard in a movie that the Bible says 365 different time to not fear. That's one time for every day of the year! Do you think it's a coincidence? Nope it's a Godincidence!

Praise Jesus for freedom!

To Becky, the unknown blog friend.

I'm so glad that this song could bless in your time of need. I am so thankful for a God who know what we need and how our suffering can bless others! Praise God that he sees the big picture and he knew that you needed that song. It's very encouraging to see God using my experience over the last four days to bring peace and blessings to someone else. I'll be praying for your family.

Isaiah 55:8 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,"
declares the LORD.

9 "As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.

This verse applies in so many ways to our lives.. and even just to the two of us. God's word is truly amazing and beautifuly personal. I praise him that his truth is for all and speaks to each person in their time of need. Bless you today Becky.

Prayer Request

Well things here have been harder today. I do really need your prayers as this is proving to be quite painful. Thank you to all who have been praying for our family and please continue.

So today Jesus opened up his arms and received our first little angel. I know that in all things God will be glorified and his ways are not my ways. I trust him and I praise him that I could carry one of his little angels, even for a short time. Praise God! Not only is my Jesus interceding on my behalf, I believe now that my precious eternal baby is at his side waiting for his family to come home. Jesus knew we'd need his help.

I know for a lot of you this is shocking because you probably didn't know I was pregnant. I was only six weeks along, we didn't want to tell people yet and it had just started to come out a bit in the last week.

Please pray for our family. Thank you.

Farmers Market

So my mom and I are thinking about doing the farmers market. I'm really excited at the prospect. It would be great if it went well. The only thing is that I need ideas on how to keep the kids happy while we're there. It would make for a long saturday morning for them. I may need to borrow Jane's Playpen. Another thing that I'm thinking about is getting a female manequin to display the wrap. I won't be selling the pocket sling or the meitei there but I will take orders for them.

I'm really excited especially because I'm at the place now where my stock is getting up there. I just have to sew like a crazy lady now. Oh well it's fun. Is there anyone out there at has a menequin? Another thing that we'll need is a table.. but I think we might be able to get one from my mom's friend. I need to think of some fun display ideas though. And I'll need a sign Christy! WAHOO! very fun!